I'm stuck in what has to be one of the most unsettling phases of a person's life. Not really the most painful or hardest, just really the most unsettling.
Sometimes, people transition from one phase of their life to another. This transition, however, unlike how one might expect, is not instant.
I've been tryna find a god damn job for like 3 months now, and that on its own has been extremely unrewarding and stressful. I also have limited time in the US if I don't find a job, which means I might have to leave soon. That being said I consoled myself by being like "hey I need to live life while I find a job!", and like in a way, it's not a bad idea, I should be able to keep on growing and living as I wait, my life shouldn't have to go on hold.
(*)This goal turned out to be much harder than expected, I feel stuck in limbo (haha he said the thing from the title) between two stages of my life, and for an indefinite amount of time. Actually, it is this uncertainty of time that makes it the most unbearable. Time really is the source of all pain, and I do my best to be in the present.
That being said lol:
Wanna make friends for human contact which I crave? Yea sure but I might leave soon.
Wanna find a girlfriend? Not really cuz I might leave soon.
Wanna buy a new item for a hobby like a drumset? No money and also can't really cuz I might leave soon.
Wanna decorate your room? Not worth cuz I might leave soon.
Wanna get a gym subscription? Idk, cuz I might leave soon.
the list goes on but I won't keep going cuz lol I might leave soon lmao
So due to this uncertainty and the time aspect which makes investments increasingly hard to justify, I feel stuck and all I need is to wait. No matter what I do, or what I think, all I need to do is wait. waiting really is the only ending to this. So you might tell me yea just make the most of it, and to read my answer go back and start reading from (*) lol
